To the self-righteous trolls: You Are Right. Now go away and mind your own damn business.

Some time ago, there has been a war of words as to what scambloggers and their presumably unemployed commenter-followers should be doing with their lives instead of bitching and moaning on the internet.

The trolls say that the slackers should be networking, blogging, sending out resumes, learning something new, begging for overflow, doing pro boner work, reconnecting with classmates and friends, etc. They say get over your sense of entitlement, think different, get out of your shell, stop blaming the law schools, the Republicans and the student loan industrial machine….

These trolls probably have good intentions and in the overall scheme of things, they are right. Good legal jobs are not going to automatically fall on our laps just because we have a law degree. Also, some of us need to develop a good reputation to the point where we can influence education policy and criticize the status quo without coming off looking like a disgruntled loser. Most of us get that. And we know that being perpetual debt slaves in the United States is preferable to selling our bodies to some geriatric pervert in Southeast Asia in order to buy bread from the local warlord.

With that being said, can you trolls shut the fuck up please go away and leave us to bitch and moan in peace? You may find this hard to believe, but lot of us are surviving and some are doing fairly well so your call to action is irrelevant. Others are still coming to terms with the truth that they are not special despite the hard work in college, law school, their part-time jobs and extracurricular activities.

This pissing match is ultimately a distraction. The anti law school movement is not at war with the boomers and their syncophants. The scambloggers and most of their commenters are angry at law schools and the lies they tell to prospective students. Everyone agrees that law schools lie about job placements, that professors are grossly overpaid and underworked and that the bullshit US News and World Ranking does a piss poor job of measuring the quality of a law school. But when it comes to doing getting shit done and implementing change, very few (including myself) is doing anything more than giving their opinion and passing the buck.

To the trolls, you are not going to motivate anyone and let me explain why in a way I hope you will understand. Some people hoped to win the biglaw lottery and lost. Others went because they had a choice between law school, getting a McJob or becoming a commission only insurance salesman and law school seemed a hell of a lot easier and more respectable. But most people just wanted to be glorified and highly paid employees. Basically, a large number of us should not have gone to law school in the first place and if given the opportunity, will leave the profession in a heartbeat.

You can’t motivate these people. They want to escape. They want revenge or justice as they see it. They don’t want to learn the ropes on their own. They don’t want to observe court hearings. They don’t want mentors. They don’t want to go to networking events and probably can’t afford to go either. They are angry and bitter and in my opinion, rightfully so. These people won’t move on with their lives until they see the source of their bitterness suffer. Is it a productive way to live? Most likely not. But I also realize that on an individual level, such people can potentially be very dangerous, especially lawyers who are deemed to be in a position of trust and can cause great harm to clients. On a larger picture, a growing number of unemployed, bitter “losers” will drain government resources and reduce societal productivity.

So if you really want to help the losers, focus on those who genuinely who can and want to be helped. Otherwise, stop throwing gasoline into a fire. Your “tough love” motivational talking points may impress a small group of people who may or may not be able to help you. But this shtick gets old and will come off as mean spirited.

Or if some of you really have the guts, join a relevant bar committee focusing on legal education or law school accreditation and advocate legal education reform or restricting bar admission to more qualified individuals. I plan to do this eventually. Will I see you trolls do the same? Suuuure….I’ll believe this when I see it.

So let’s all just focus on what we agree on – criticizing the current state of legal education. Because when the trolls argue with losers…you know what they say about arguing on the internet….

Another Depressing Commencement Speech to the Graduating Class of the Average Law School

To many of you in the class of 2013, I am your future self. If you are graduating from an average law school, your future is at best uncertain. Fucked at worst. Now I understand that there are no guarantees in life and the recent economic downturn put a monkeywrench in most peoples’ future plans. But I think we should be allowed to bitch and moan.

To those who got the job that they wanted, I congratulate you. Chances are you worked hard to get it along with a little help from Lady Luck.

To those who are not satisfied with their post grad job, I suppose you should be thankful that you at least have a job. While you are working for your evil overlord, try to learn things and do what you can to make yourself valuable. In the meantime, keep looking for a better job.

Finally, to those who didn’t get a job, keep looking and do what you have to do. And keep bugging the shit out of your school’s career services office. After all, you paid a small fortune in tuition to your law school so the least these fuckers can do is help you find a job.

A number of you feel jaded about your law school experience. Your projected career path didn’t turn out the way you hoped or thought you were entitled to. You might feel that you didn’t learn anything useful. Your student loan payment is greater than half of your salary.

Yet most of you enrolled in 2010 – a year when people were becoming aware that law school employment statistics were either molested or were outright lies. It was during a year when large firms were laying off associates, implementing hiring freezes, and downsizing altogether. And many legal experts have rightfully predicted that most lawyers’ pay will decrease in the long run due to changes in technology. You could have learned this in 2010 by doing an internet search or talking to current law students or recent law school graduates.

You didn’t listen and as a consequence, most of you are going to be fucked financially for a long time, perhaps the rest of your lives. But I am not writing to condemn or mock you if your expectations were not met. The damage has already been done and you will need to do whatever it takes to dig yourself out of this hole. My advice to you is this:

First, live within your means. Fuck the lawyer image. Don’t lease the luxury car you cannot afford. Don’t think you can “buy” yourself out of your financial troubles. I and many of my colleagues can see through your bullshit and will treat you accordingly. On a related note, don’t bet on student loans being dischargeable in bankruptcy anytime soon. Focus instead on avoiding default and making the most payments you can afford.

Second, don’t fuck people over, especially other attorneys. You are just starting out in your career and you don’t want to be known as the greedy, cheating bastard.

Third, emphasize with others and don’t be an arrogant douche. You have a strong work ethic. You think positively. You have a business or career plan and are following through with it. Heck, you might even be doing well with yourself. If that is the case, we are all happy for you. But don’t act all high and mighty telling people to stop being lazy and feeling entitled. Your pompous attitude might win you some friends but it will also turn off a lot of other people who are just as successful as you are. Have some sympathy for people who are less fortunate and help those who can and want to be helped.

Fourth, do your part to prevent the law school scam from perpetuating. While you don’t have to start a blog, organize a protest, or do something you’ll regret later, you should at least inform people that law school is a gamble. Tell prospective law students to think long and hard about their decision. For those who truly want to go, advise them to at least get a full or substantial tuition discount.

Finally, don’t give up on yourself. You may not have a future as an attorney but you do have a future. Don’t think just because you have a law degree, you have to be a lawyer. You are learning that the world is a cruel place and only a select few will make it to the top of the profession. But there are other professions where your personal skills and experience will be useful.

The Law School Rankings – Use it to Negotiate Tuition Discounts

Above the Law recently released their own law school rankings. While no means perfect, it is a big improvement over the piss-poor US News and World Report rankings. The ATL rankings take into account factors that actually matter to 0Ls such as tuition and percentage of graduates employed at real legal jobs. I also like the fact that ATL ranks only 50 schools.

The one useful thing about the US News rankings was that I was able to use it to negotiate a substantial scholarship before matriculating at my law school. A school ranked higher than mine put me on their waiting list. I contacted the higher ranked school and asked if I can get a 35%ish tuition discount. I laid out the usual reasons – financial hardship, academic promise and the other usual bullshit. I got an email response from the officer saying that I will be considered for a need-based scholarship.

I forwarded this email to the law school I was planning to attend and asked if any scholarships were available to me as the 35% discount at the other school was very enticing and if I weren’t accepted, I would consider reapplying as a spring admit. A few days later, my school offered a better tuition discount.

So if you are still playing the law school negotiation game and you are accepted to a school ranked 50th or below, it is important to obtain tuition discounts. Many of these insecure law schools are obsessed with rankings and will do just about anything to obtain students with good numbers. If you have to pay full sticker and have no other options, you should seriously consider deferring for another year.

It must be disheartening to Bob Morse and his goons at US News knowing that their rankings are being used more as a bargaining tool and less as a measure of quality. Once the lawadmins learn that the US News is being gamed by the students and begins to affect the school’s bottom line, they will eventually boycott the rankings altogether.

Loyola Law School – A Case Study in Reputational Collapse

Programming note – Since it is now mid-April, many 0Ls have received acceptance letters from various schools with financial aid packages. So I decided that for the next few months, I will focus my writing to pre-law students in the hopes that they will 1) understand the true economic reality of going to law school and becoming a lawyer, 2) be very aggressive about negotiating tuition discounts in its various forms, and 3) either not go to law school at all or defer attending for at least another year. The law school scam continues.

Once upon a time, Loyola Law School (a tax exempt entity affiliated with Loyola Marymount University) used to be a decent alternative for those seeking to practice law in Southern California. Most Loyola Law School students either did not have the GPA/LSAT numbers to go to USC or UCLA law or received tuition discounts to attend. But almost everyone believed that even a marginal graduate of Loyola Law School would be able to get a job after graduation and later use their alumni connections to lateral to a reputable firm in a few years. It might be harder to make BigLaw partner but most graduates made good money and a lot of their alumni were on TV, including the late Johnnie Cochran. It seemed like everyone was happy and were bragging about their success at the alumni events and all of the graduates were hopeful about their career opportunities.

And then in 2007, Loyola 2L (L2L) appeared on the internet. L2L claimed to have ranked in the top 25% of his 1L class. But when he submitted his resume to major law firms for a summer associate position at Loyola Law School’s on-campus interview program, none offered him an interview.

L2L must have felt like a failure and a loser. But he later learned that he was not alone and a number of his classmates were having the same problem. Nobody talked about it because they wanted to “stay positive” and not look unemployable. L2L posted on many legal website message boards and blogs complaining about the poor job market and how Loyola Law School’s good reputation was a lie. His story received national attention and formed the beginnings of the law school scam movement.

Six years later, the true employment realities of Loyola Law School are being known. The 2013 US News and World Report Graduate School Rankings ranked Loyola Law School at 68th – way below the its traditional rank between 40th and 50th, putting it in the traditional first tier category. In addition, 22.9% of graduates were reported to have found full-time positions requiring the JD degree after graduation with most of these graduates earning an average of $75,000 per year. Prior to the ABA’s call for more detailed employment statistics, Loyola Law School – like the others – reported that over 90% of their graduates were employed, presumably in Biglaw.

Tuition is $44,320 per year and with interest, anticipated incremental tuition increases and no discounts scholarships, a Loyola Law School graduate will leave with $150,000 in nearly non dischargeable debt which translates into $1,190 per month over 25 years or $1,950 over ten years. If cost of living and undergraduate debt is added in, the debt could exceed $250,000 which means paying $2,000 per month for 25 years of $3,100 per month for ten years. 

So if you’re considering going to Loyola Law School, do you really know what you’re getting yourself into? Did you negotiate an aggressive discount for your three year stay? Because if you haven’t, you’re most likely better off going to nearby Southwestern on a near free ride or one of those shittier schools in Orange County for a full ride. Do you want to spend $150,000 to $200,000 for a 22.9% chance at a job that pays on average $75,000 or $50,000 after taxes? Are you that brave? Do you really think you’re the shit? Do you really think you will be the one of the few magna cum laude graduates that makes biglaw? If you do and fail, I will laugh at you as I see you struggle and live a life of poverty. 

If I were to interview a Loyola Law School student or graduate, I would be tempted to ask about his or her total student loan debt and (while it is still legal) demand his credit report to see his total student loan debt. Because if he has a mountain of debt and he qualifies for PAYE or IBR, I as an employer would have no incentive to pay him more than $3,500 per month if I hire him. It actually works out for everyone. I get cheap labor. The employee would qualify for PAYE or IBR and would qualify for a very low monthly payment. In other words, paying him more would be wasteful for both of us as the extra money will go to the government.

Don’t take my word for it – look at Nando’s blistering and more truthful review at Third Tier Reality.

So go to Loyola Law School at your own risk. As I mentioned before, I will have no sympathy for the Class of 2016.

Reason #38,274,847 not to go to law school now: The Law School Price Wars Have Begun!

In a move that will entice prospective lawyer wannabes (and piss off recent graduates that paid full sticker), the University of Arizona has announced that it will reduce tuition by 11% for in state students and 8% for out of state residents the following year. This results in a $3,000 – $3,500 cost savings reduction per year or $9,000 – $10,500 (excluding accrued interest) for all three years.

On his final ITLSS post, Professor Paul Campos said that the University of Colorado will also reduce tuition in the future.

As the smarter lemmings are beginning to understand that paying $150,000 to $200,000 in almost non-dischargeable debt will result in a 56,2% of getting a job that requires a law degree, it must be getting harder for the law school sales brigade to convince people to sign the dotted line.

This is just the beginning. I suspect that more schools will either follow suit or will be more aggressive with discounts scholarships.

So you or someone you know is disappointed with his or her LSAT score of 158, wait a year or four. Law school will only get cheaper. And maybe better.

The Joke of Law School Practical Training

Many law schools have been implementing courses and options with the goal of helping students become “practice ready”. The idea is to make their graduates more marketable.

In theory it sounds like a good idea because employers will spend less time training and students will have an understanding of the procedural nuances (both official and unofficial) of  litigation or transactional work. It is also a good alternative to taking one of several useless black letter classes.

But there are some problems that makes me wonder whether a law school’s “practice ready” curriculum will be successful. The first and the most obvious is that this doesn’t solve the overall problem of there not being enough jobs. When two “practice ready” graduates are competing for one job, then one will lose out.

The second problem is that a new hire will always need some level of training. A firm will want their employees to write pleadings and motions a certain way. The new hire may need to learn how to use the firm’s legal research system. Depending on the complexity of the firm’s internal procedures and office politics, training time can be minimal to substantial. And of course, the client will be billed for this too.

The third problem is that for T14s or other schools where graduates place nationally, it will be difficult to implement a “national” practice ready program. I can’t imagine Harvard and Boston College implementing a class or clinic focusing on litigating civil or criminal claims in Massachusetts. Most of their graduates will be practicing elsewhere. I realize that top schools may not have the employment problem that shittier schools do and may not need a practice ready curriculum. But some of these “top” schools have reported some shocking employment numbers lately so they too may be looking into implementing a practice ready program in the future.

The reality is that most law firms don’t really want “practice ready” graduates. What they want are (1) rainmakers or potential rainmakers who know how to take money from people; (2) someone who can influence judges and other “deciders”; and to a lesser extent (3) someone who can create a winning argument with the worst facts. So if law schools want to increase their graduates’ marketability, they should focus on creating lawyers with one of the above three attributes with a heavy emphasis on (1).

Law School Bullshit Sales Pitch: A Law Degree is “Versatile”

Programming note: Paul Campos has been bitchslapping lawprof Brian Leiter and calling out some Nazi Gestapo-esque behavior at the Faculty Lounge. I had a feeling Leiter and his secret law school apologists would pull some shit like this when I started this blog. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. And fuck Brian Leiter.

I was looking through some of my classmates’ and colleagues’ Linkedin profiles and noticed that a number of them no longer practice law. Some have become part time real estate agents or consultants. Some work for the government in a non-legal position. Others are business owners. A few stopped practicing after being disciplined by the bar. And some have just vanished – most likely becoming stay-at-home spouses or pursuing another degree. 

I didn’t attempt to contact them because it wasn’t my place to find out why they left the legal profession (or whether they entered the profession at all.) But the number of my classmates that left was large enough to suggest that most of them were unable to find steady jobs or found happiness elsewhere.

I then went to the US News rankings website to see how many of the graduating class in my law school were able to secure JD-required or advantaged positions. The number was somewhere between abysmal and pathetic. In previous years, the school reported that 95% of its graduates secured JD-required employment.

Most law schools would respond to the shitty post-graduate employment rate by saying that their degree is versatile and not all of their students are interested in practicing law. They point out that their law degrees opened doors for them in other fields. Supposedly, the extra education makes you more knowledgeable and competitive over someone with just a bachelor’s degree.

But what the fuck does it mean for a degree to be “versatile”? In a sense, any degree is versatile. I don’t need a degree to start a business. I don’t need a degree to be a fucking housewife, a fast food worker or an insurance salesman. So why the fuck would I want to spend $100K-$300K and three years of my life for a degree that I may not need?

You have to understand that a degree is versatile when it gives you the option to pursue other fields. Students and graduates of top law schools are recruited by consulting firms, business, academia and government agencies to name a few. The top law school JD can be a replacement for an MBA, MA, PhD, or the BS or Ass. degree. Also, these alternative jobs are usually desirable and pay fairly well.

On the other hand, when shitty law schools claim the JD is versatile, they really mean that the degree is fucking useless. At these schools, little to no non-legal firms show up to the school’s OCI. At best, only local lawyers and government agencies and maybe one or two midlaw firms show up to hire the top of the class. So students and graduates of no-name schools have NO FUCKING CHOICE but to pursue non-legal careers because no law firm will hire them. And in most cases, the non-legal jobs suck major ass and in order to get them, one has to remove the JD from his or her resume before submitting it to the shady section of Craigslist.

Now I know there are a large number of people from non-top schools who are happy and successful in their non-legal careers. Some of them are genuinely content with their life despite their student loan debt induced poverty and if that’s the case, then I am happy for them. But many  rationalize, fake or exaggerate their success. And others lie about how successful they are. And for those who have achieved an objective level of success outside of law, chances are they did not achieve it because of their law degree. Instead, they achieved their success in spite of the degree’s uselessness. Maybe they knew the right people. Maybe they had good fortune. Maybe they were more driven.

So when a law school salesman says that their degree is versatile and opens many doors, be sure to ask specifically what nonlegal jobs these people get. A consultant at McKinsey or a cashier at McDonalds?